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Why You Blame Yourself for Bad… (psychologytoday.com)

May 12, 2012

This is a good one, wish I had written it myself. I often hear people say "The only common denominator in my relationships is me, so I must be the problem." or "I can’t change other people, just myself." both of these are true at times, but between you and me, these are also things we have to say to the empathy challenged and narcissistic. (And to be fair, we are all empathy challenged and narcissistic at times.) To those who are constantly trying to need less in their relationships and somehow change themselves for others : read this. The only thing you need to change is the lack of boundaries and demands that you make in your intimate relationships. Stop blaming yourself, everyone has bad relationships, everyone tries and fails, frequently, to find the right person. Some people don’t blame themselves, they see the frogs they kiss as what they are: reptiles. (No comments, please, I know they are amphibians, but work with me here.). So, blame others for what they do and dump ’em already for crying out loud. They will be a perfect match for someone else without anybody having to change anything.

Why You Blame Yourself for Bad Relationships—and How to Stop
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/romance-redux/201205/why-you-blame-yourself-bad-relationships-and-how-stop

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